death

oh, don't think this post is morbid because it's not.

i lost a dear friend today. tita linda was my dad's secretary, but to me, she was so much more. she was my yaya whenever my dad - an orthopedic surgeon - would leave me in his clinic to operate on some poor person who broke his or her bones. she would buy me french fries from the mcdo below the hospital for my merienda be it morning, afternoon or evening. she held my hand and whispered words of comfort as i tearfully awaited my mother to emerge from her biopsy (they found a lump in my mama's breast which, by God's grace, turned out to be benign).

last wednesday, we visited her in the hospital. her kidneys were already failing pero may konting lakas pa siya nun. tinatarayan pa niya yung mga nurses at interns na nang-iinterview sa kanya. before leaving, i kissed her goodbye. i knew that would be the last time i'd see her alive. kagabi, nag-comatose na siya. this morning, she peacefully passed away.

magkasama kami nina mama at papa sa kotse kanina, nagkukwentuhan. katabi kasi nila si tita linda sa huli niyang sampung minuto. wala na raw pupillary reflex nung tinapatan ni mama ng penlight ang mga mata ni tita linda. "pinag-aralan mo na ba yung pupillary light reflex?" tanong ni papa. *tungo* tapos kakaiba na raw yung breathing niya. something to do with encephalopathy daw. "eh yun, naaral mo na ba? pathology pa yun, di ba?" naisip ko yung nangyayari sa tao pag hindi na gumagana yung liver. umikot sa utak ko ang lahat ng inaral ko sa biochem (o kung ano na lang ang naaalala ko). tapos naisip ko yung nararamdaman ni tita linda habang nagaganap yun. nanlabo ang paningin ko. masakit malaman ang pinagdadaanan ng pasyente. pero mas masakit malamang wala kang magagawa.

sabi ni mama sa akin, thankful siya dahil nasa magandang lugar na si tita linda. "are you?" tanong ko. nagkwento ulit si mama. last week, binisitahan daw si tita linda ng pari. tinanong siya kung gusto ba raw niyang magkumpisal. sabi niya, nagawa na raw niya. dumiretsyo na raw siya sa Diyos.

i guess i had nothing to worry about. she's so much happier now. basta wag lang niyang tarayan yung mga anghel dun. :P

---

let's continue to pray for the victims of the earthquake in south asia. the death toll is between 20,000 to 30,000.


verse for the day:
i will not leave you as orphans; i will come to you. before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. because i live, you also will live. on that day, you will realize that i am in my Father, and you are in me, and i am in you. [john 14:18-21]

time check: 10:26 PM