for the longest time, i've been very troubled. the sins were piling up, prayers felt half-hearted, i had become worldly. instead of 'fessing up, i buried myself in work. i found i couldn't pray anymore because guilt filled my heart each time i tried. at some point, when i did try, i heard nothing - His voice was gone. i thought, for one moment, that i had lost Him forever.

easter sunday is a special day for Christians because this day, we celebrate His resurrection - His triumph over sin, death and evil. for me, easter sunday is also the day i found my way back to Him after five dark, long months. this was the day i heard His voice again, and felt his warm embrace i've needed for so long.

after all this time, after all i had done, He still loves me.


verse for the day:
for i am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. [romans 3:38,39]

pedia ended way too soon. when i finally realized how happy the rotation was making me, i was thrust into ob-gyne which brought about a lot of exhaustion and depression.

internal medicine was even worse for me because (1) i HAD to study harrison's 24/7 or else i'm doomed to repeat the rotation, (2) i flunked the first exam - the easiest, says trina - despite the studying, (3) my trusty g4 ibook died. so there i was burying my face in my internal med textbook and trying very hard to concentrate on it, while not thinking of the possibility that i had lost all my files (not to mention all my pictures since my imed days) and might not see my laptop work ever again.

after that horrible first week in internal med, things got better. i passed the next two exams (and enjoyed reading the cardio topics haha), my parents bought me a new macbook and i'm eternally grateful, and i learned a lot of things on medicine thanks to all that intensive reading. needless to say, internal med was quite the experience for me.

surgery was too benign for words. histories were shorter, cases were simpler (or so it seemed), and the reading list was a shadow of medicine's massive one. :P surgery, i realized, is probably one of the last specialties i'd go into. unfortunately, i'm not very skillful with the scalpel and needle. i also hate anatomy - the subject every surgeon must know if he/she is going to open up a person and take out a chunk of an organ. but surgery was still a lot of fun. i had more pedia exposure which i loved (pedia na 'to!). our block was able to go out to serendra despite a 7 am class the next day. i was able to diagnose a bunch of out-patient cases, which made me feel... useful. lol.

now that pedia, ob-gyne, medicine and surgery are finally over, i can say what the other blocks have been saying months ago: clerk na ako!

to my dear block, thanks for making the big four experience too awesome for words. we rak!!!



verse for the day:
not that i have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but i press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. brothers, i do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. but one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, i press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. [philippians 3:12-14]